Mekong River, Hoi an and Hanoi

Explanations of photos at bottom of this entry as well as a few poorly shot videos.

I spent another day in ho chi minh just walking around and then I decided to do a tour of the Mekong river. It’s about 2 hrs south of ho chi minh city and we went down there in a motorboat-ish type boat. It was actually a cool ride down b/c at first you see metal shacks that in the US, would be considered too disgusting and filthy for a homeless person, but in Vietnam are home to multiple families. Once you get out of the city you see the natural landscape which is more or less what you’d expect – very thick jungle. I believe that no one calls it “the jungle” anymore b/c now we are supposed to save the environment and so it’s transformed into a more pleasant sounding “rainforest”, but Vietnam is definitely still a jungle. After about 3 hrs we arrived and got off our boat and were taken out to a little area where they make honey tea and we were served some Vietnamese dried fruits and honey tea. They actually make the honey there and they had an entire bee colony and the guy let us hold one of the little screens that has honeycomb and about a billion bees in it. It was funny holding the bees and he said ppl usually don’t get stung even though one guy did. After that he took a 12 foot python and asked if anyone wanted to hold it. I obviously obliged b/c who could possibly pass up the opportunity to hold a snake in the middle of the jungle, but everyone on our tour seemed to be afraid of snakes and 2 ppl refused to even take the picture b/c the snake was in it and they didn’t want to come too close. After the guide gave me the snake, he went back to the area where we were drinking tea to get a snack. This was fine, except he just left the snake on me and as I just stood there, it began to wrap it’s body around me. The bottom of it went through my legs and the top wrapped around my neck and went down my arm. After the longest 2 minutes of my life, the tour guide came back looked at me and said “hmmmmm” but after hitting the snake a few times it loosened its grip and he took it back.

After that we went on a boat tour down various rivers in what is basically a Vietnamese canoe. It fits 4 ppl plus 2 ppl driving the boat (there’s no motor on the boat so they just drive w/ 2 really long sticks that reach the bottom of the river). I had become friendly with a dutch couple, sven, a pilot and caroline, a flight attendant both for KLM, and one Canadian guy, rob, who said he was a cop. Anyways, we made sure to all be in the same canoe and after the canoe ride we went for lunch. We found a table for the 4 of us and ate an uneventful lunch except for the dogs that kept coming up to us. Obviously none of the dogs were neutered but the female dogs looked really nasty with their nipples pretty much hanging down to the floor. After that we had some free time to tour the island that we were on and we all took bikes and biked around the island. It wasn’t a very touristy island which I thought was kind of cool b/c we were just biking through random towns that didn’t have any tourist shops and were just real Vietnamese towns. There were a few problems with the bikes though, mainly that the bikes were made for midgets, they were at least 30 yrs old, and my brakes didn’t work at all. This nearly caused a serious accident when I almost fell into a river b/c I couldn’t stop on a long, continuous downward slope but thankfully, since the bikes were so small, no one was going that fast anyways.

After a little while we stopped at a local store and sat down to have a drink. The Canadian guy wanted to be a bigshot so he bought us all a round (total cost for 4 drinks: $2). The guy whose bar it was sat down with us to chat and immediately asked if any of us were Americans and said that he loved Americans. He said he was a translator for the war in the US but his English was so incredibly bad that I can’t imagine it’s true. Nothing he said made sense but I said I was American and he said that he loved America but that it was very cold. He then went on to explain that he lived in Arizona, California and texas so he was probably lying about having ever been to America or just had no clue what was going on b/c of the language barrier. He also pointed to the girl serving us the drinks who was his 16 yr old niece that he was taking care of and he said that her father (who was his brother) had died and he pointed to the grave right next to the restaurant. When we asked what yr he died he said 1969 but considering that his daughter was 16, there was clearly a language gap. We all started cracking up and it probably was really impolite to do when he was talking about his dead brother and this young girls father but wtvr, he didn’t seem offended at all and kept telling us how much he loved us and america. After a few more drinks we stumbled back on our bikes, hopped on the bus and went home. It is funny how much every Vietnamese person seems to love America b/c all of the museums there are so incredibly (and understandably) anti-american. I also don’t think they’re lying b/c even ppl who aren’t trying to sell u something still love America. We got home at around 8 and I just packed that night and went to bed since I had booked a flight the next morning to hoi an and had to wake up at 4:30am.

The dutch ppl that I met on the Mekong had recommended a hotel to me and said that it’s 25/night but you can just ask for 15/night at the front desk and they’ll oblige. After getting to the hotel they let me have a room for 15/night (surprisingly nice hotel) and the first thing I did was go to rent a motorcycle. A block away was a bike rental place and the woman gave me the bike for $8 total for 2 days. It was a little odd though b/c when I rented the car in Australia I filled out a bunch of forms, gave them my passport etc., but here all I did was show up and take the bike. I didn’t even pay until I returned it. If I wanted to I just could’ve driven to the next town and sold the bike and she would have had no way of tracking me, and if I had crashed the bike, she also would’ve had no way of getting it back, but wtvr, I guess not many white ppl have swindled her before. After she gave me a 10 minute tutorial on how to ride the bike (I couldn’t even figure out how to turn it on) I was off and drove into town. The reason I rented a bike in hoi an was b/c it is a much quieter city than Ho Chi Minh City or Hanoi b/c driving in either of those cities would literally be suicide. But when I got to town I was still kind of unfamiliar with riding a motorbike and so I decided to take the 5km ride to the beach which was relatively empty. Granted, this bike isn’t exactly a Harley, it’s more of a mix between a motorcycle and scooter although the speedometer did go up to 180 km/h and on the road to the beach I hit 100 km/h a few times w/ no problems although slowed down immediately b/c it was too windy. Most of the way there traffic moves at about 50-60 km/h and in the city at about 30-40.

In the morning I mostly just drove around and went about 30km out of the city and explored random villages. I thought it would be cool to see the more authentic areas but really, I was loving driving around and I just wanted to stay on the bike and it was a good way to keep cool b/c the wind is pretty strong when ur going about 60 km/h. In the afternoon I went shopping which is what hoi an is known for. A lot of high end western companies like lacoste, polo, nike, etc. have places in hoi an or nearby so the ppl living in hoi an get extras and make a few extra dollars selling them to tourists. Also, the town is lined w/ tailors who will make everything from a 3 piece suit to a winter coat to a pair of jeans and it’s supposed to be relatively high quality and since there’s soooo many tailors the prices are really low. I bought 3 lacoste polo shirts for $9 and 3 polo brand polo shirts for $12. I have gotten used to the haggling and I think that was relatively cheap even for Vietnam b/c other ppl I spoke to payed way more (and at first the women in the stores wanted $6 each for the shirts). They also have a million shoe stores where they’ll custom make you a shoe so I decided that was a good idea. I couldn’t buy any of the shoes off the shelf b/c in Vietnam they don’t make shoes larger than a 42 (equivalent to a size 8.5 in the US) b/c again, everyone here is a midget. So, I had my feet measured and the women all laughed at the size of my American feet and then they made me some nike sneakers that I can’t decide if I like but we shall see. I did get into a slight accident on the motorbike and my foot is pretty badly scratched up since the bike sort of fell on my foot but other than that I’m fine.

As a sidenote, one admirable thing about Vietnam is that despite being a poor country, everybody works. There has not been a single person who asked me for money for no reason since I got here. Granted, everyone tries to sell u something and rip u off, but that is expected. I have found it impressive that there are no beggars considering the average person makes $1.25/day.

Early this morning I arrived in Hanoi, which is the capital of Vietnam. I assumed I would like this as much as ho chi minh city and so this morning I started to walk around the city but it was incredibly hot. It’s been hot wherever I have been in Vietnam thus far but nothing compared to this. The weather here cannot be described. I left my hotel at 9am, at 9:05 u could see beads of sweat, by 9:10 everything was damp and by 9:15 I was sweating so profusely that I had to take off my glasses b/c sweat was dripping off my head at such a fast rate that my glasses were getting soaked and I had to take them off every 30 seconds to clean them. When I shook my arms to get the sweat off, it looked like a sprinkler. It was insane. I came back to my hotel to see what the weather was and according to weather.com it was 114 degrees. Remember, by the time I got back to my room it was around 9:30-9:45am. The heat here is really like nothing I have ever felt and I walked to see the sites that Hanoi has but while I was outdoors there is absolutely nothing you can think about other than the weather. I contemplated taking one of the motorbike taxi’s but I figured I’d rather be hot then dead. It is also impossible to cool down since, even in America air conditioning would have a hard time keeping a room cool in 120 degree heat but in Vietnam? No chance. Usually a fan is the best you can do. Also, NO ONE here wears shorts, everyone wears pants and the women even wear long sleeves and hats when they’re outdoors so that they don’t get tan b/c white skin is attractive and they don’t appear to sweat. One thing I have noticed is that the entire city of Hanoi is a great big shrine to Ho Chi Minh and I found it odd that they changed the name of Saigon to Ho chi Minh City rather than leaving Saigon as-is and changing the name of Hanoi to Ho Chi Minh City but who knows. Anyways, the main theme of the day was the heat as it was probably 120-125 during the heat of the day and I was outside all day but thankfully, a 1.5 liter bottle of water is between $0.40-0.60 so I stayed pretty hydrated. Right now it’s about 6:45 and I’m in my room waiting for it to get a little colder so I can go outside. I just checked the weather and it has cooled down to a chilly 110 but maybe if I’m lucky it will get down to about 95 tonight. Also, the I thought the heat was all in the humidity b/c it was cloudy this morning when it was 114 but when the sun came out at around 1pm it was the strongest I have ever felt. You couldn’t stand in the sun for more than 10-15 seconds without being in pain. I am pretty sure I am forgetting some stuff, but it is impossible to think in this heat although I believe this is most of it.

Random sidethoughts: i have been to 5 places in vietnam so far: ho chi minh city, (previously saigon) mekong river, Hoi an, an hoi (island off hoi an) and Hanoi and i think it's time vietnam started naming places with words that don't have an, hoi or han in them, it is very confusing.

Also, i can't imagine how rich these ppl think i am as every meal that i buy is roughly 2-3x their daily salary. So if an avg person in the US makes $50k/year, which is $1k/week or roughly $200 per weekday. That means that the equivalent in the US wouuld be ppl coming and spending about $400-600 per meal and constantly raving about how cheap everything is. Just occurred to me when I gave someone an extra 10,000 ($0.50) and she nearly crapped herself.

Pictures in order

1 and 2. Me on motorbike

3. huts in hoi an

4. ppl working in the field

5. me, rob, caroline on canoe

6. on canoe going down river

7. having a drink w/ crazy vietnamese guy on island in mekong river

8. random shot of the island on mekong river

9. guy fishing on mekong

10. floating gas station

11. houses on mekong

12. snake after it wrapped around my neck

13. snake just beginning to go through my legs, before it was around my neck

all videos are me attempting to go slow and film while on the motorbike but it clearly didn't work very well as it's really bumpy.